mario lopez

In Cosmopolitan's latest issue, Eva Longoria shares details about what she likes in bed: "I’m not averse to being tied up with silk scarves," she says in the magazine's Best Ever Sex survey of A-list celebs. "I like a man to take charge. There’s something very sexy about being submissive."

It's not a word that I use often: smarmy. It takes a special kind of person to bring it out. But if anyone deserves it, it is surely this separated-at-birth dimpled duo: from-the-womb p-hound Mario Lopez and Hollywood's latest dirty boy Eddie Cibrian, subject of a feature in the latest issue of In Touch, which talks about an alleged affair he had with a model/bartender named Scheana (pictures included!)—while he was having a tryst with country singer LeAnn Rimes.

But who is the smarmier of the two? Let's look at the startling yet conclusive evidence:

Whether you're stuck in the rainy Northeast today (a week of non-stop rain in NYC! Grr!) or already basking in the sun in Miami or L.A., Sunday marked the first official day of summer. And that means one thing: Time to hit the beach. Prep for it by getting a little inspiration—or advance ogling—from this list of the best Latin celeb beach bodies.

Everybody—well, almost everybody—in movies, TV and music has to stay in shape for the job. But that doesn’t guarantee a great body. Hollywood is full of people who have, for example, a nice rack but flat ass and chicken legs (sorry, Rosario Dawson) or ruggedly handsome face but a body so flaccid it could double as Jell-O (the lumpy Benicio del Toro). But the following Latin celebrities have it all—whether they got it through genes or hard work (and hopefully not through too much nip and tuck).

Woke up this morning to bizarre breaking news: Drunk a-hole Keifer Sutherland is in trouble again, this time for headbutting a dude who apparently interrupted his conversation with Brooke Shields. They were talking at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala when fashion designer Jack McCollough of Proenza Schouler, a friend of Brooke's, sidled up. According to McCollough, Keifer put a "high-school wrestling move" on him, then rammed him with his head.

Mario Lopez has been the butt of more jokes than usual lately, with the self-described “actor-host-dancer-Broadway-star-author” getting dissed by half of Latino Hollywood. The latest? George Lopez, who says he will not be inviting Mr. Musculos on his upcoming talk show: “I want my guests to be themselves. If they’re not funny I’ll get rid of them. I only book funny people. Mario Lopez is not funny; people with those kind of muscles don’t belong on my show.”

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck: OK, so only half of this couple was Latino, but how could I pass up running this classic picture, in which Jennifer puckers up for the cameras while Ben looks like he’s thinking “Someone please extricate me from this sham of a relationship!" Mixed signals and awkward moments were the hallmark of Bennifer, J. Lo’s foray into blanquitoland. She loved the limelight, he was the definition of low-key. She made him be in her Jenny from the Block video, he hated every minute of it. His family hated her.

Sometimes the universe hands you a present in the form of a woman wearing a wife beater, leading the police on a 2 hour high speed chase…while driving a U Haul.  Lordy I love me some high speed chases and god knows that Los Angeles is the hometown of such happenings.  Yesterday’s chase was pretty fantastic.

The Mexican Ken doll that is Mario Lopez took the stage at Planet Hollywood-Las Vegas on Saturday night for his second stint as host of the Miss America pageant. Considering that the legendary dog-in-heat was surrounded by 52 women and that he was forced to look into the camera on live TV and say that the swimsuit competition was really a chance for the girls to showcase their “commitment to health, fitness and confidence” without falling out laughing, Mario didn’t do too bad. Still, there were some very embarrassing Mario moments. Here are the top four:

Believe it or not, Miss America still happens every year and some people even watch it. Not us, not even when the cheesy and delicious Mario Lopez is hosting. Or will we? It all depends on whether Dimples takes my advice (emailed to his people yesterday) on how to make me watch.