Let’s face it, Saturday’s David Ortiz press conference gave us a whole lotta nothing. For that reason, today officially marks the last time I dedicate any significant amount of time discussing Big Papi and his appearance on the 2003 PED All-Stars list (in fact, unless Ortiz turns out to be a giant woman named Cassandra or starts hitting over .300, I may not talk about the dude for the rest of the regular season). What’s there to discuss when these accused players spit the same generic responses and deny everything? OK, the whole event provided less concrete answers than an episode of Lost, but here’s four observations from the David Ortiz Press Conference Extravaganza.
1. Baseball Players Can’t Dress
Look, I know next to nothing about fashion, but baseball players dress like either guys making court appearances or flamboyant DJs. You make millions of dollars, how tough is it to put together a normal looking outfit (did I just use the word “outfit”…oh boy, this blog is going downhill). Seriously, Big Papi looks like the genetic love child of a naval officer, a matador, and a picnic table.
2. The MLB Player’s Union is Shady
Sorry, no argument or discussion allowed. Any organization that seems to make up rules as it goes along falls into one of two groups: shady or stupid. Welcome to the show Player-Rep-Who-Doesn’t-Own-a-Comb (not pictured above, that's old MLBPA head Donald Fehr). Did you miss the 6 Train for A-Rod’s press conference? Why wait till now, after some of your most high-profile players have already been “outed” and ripped to shreds in the court of public opinion, to reveal less incriminating details about the 2003 list? Plus, I love how Michael Weiner (the player rep) decides to take the “noble” approach and “honor” the court order while unnamed sources continue to expose players on a monthly basis. Shady or stupid…and judging from Weiner’s hairdo I’m starting to lean toward the latter.
3. David Ortiz Pleads ESL
I started out kind of on the fence about Big Papi opening the press conference with a language disclaimer. Seemed a bit like a “hey, guys I’m not a native speaker so go easy on me” tactic, but then I realized Americans do tend to forget that an English/Spanish barrier actually exists for a lot of MLB players. Learning two languages can be hard enough, speaking a second language in front of cameras, microphones, and a sound-byte-hungry media trained to pick apart every word…yeah, Ortiz deserves the right to point out his “Dominican accent.”
4. Big Papi Sounded Sincere But…
He played too ignorant about the supplements/substances he used and no one buys that in today’s sports environment. Sorry, people wanted answers and Ortiz made general comments about being “careless” and still needing more “information.” Look, I want to believe Big Papi, but I understand the backlash from his press conference. He gave nothing really and only deserves sympathy from those people who actually believe his story – in other words, he didn’t do enough to change opinions. Plus, the whole thing kind of felt like a stage for the Players’ Union to “address” some misunderstandings involving the 2003 PED All-Star list.
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