A Warning Would Be Nice

I just got a text message from my friend “Angela” and it said: “Great. I’ve got *** hair.”

Though that comment might sound funny to you, I’m positive Angela is upset about it right now. Only because that was her way of saying to me, “the guy I was blowing just shot into my mouth without giving me warning, so I pulled away just as it was coming out and it got into my hair…which I didn’t plan to wash and straighten again for another two days.”

Now I know what you’re thinking…surely, she could have avoided the hair issue by not pulling away. But that’s just the kind of chick Angela is. She has no problem with going down on a guy, she just doesn’t want his aftermath in her mouth….or in her hair obviously. And she’s not the only one. Some women just don’t like it. They might not be every man’s favorite, but you can’t blame them for not wanting an unexpected, warm, goopy shot in their mouth. It’s just not their preference.

Just like there are plenty of ladies who don’t mind, and maybe even love a little jizz in their mouths, there are plenty who hate it. So guys, there’s only one way to be sure what kind of girl you’re spending time with—give her warning before you go in her mouth. It’s the least you can do when she’s the one working.

Trust me. It’s actually a brilliant move on your part…if she doesn’t want your stuff; she will strategically pull away, but still satisfy you. If she doesn’t mind, she’ll be prepared and gladly accept. Best case scenario, she'll appreciate the warning and whether she likes it or not, she'll still let you go in her mouth because you were a gentleman about it. Either way, it only works in your favor.

I’m throwing this information out there because I can’t even count the number of friends I know, who have had this happen to them. We don’t live in a porn. Sorry. Give us a warning so we can decide the next move…otherwise, we might end up thinking you’re disrespectful.

Otherwise, I guess you could get around this situation by having a little talk first…but who does that?

Sitting at dinner…
Guy: So, do you like to give head?
Girl: Not really, but if I like the guy, sure.
Guy: OK, lets just get to the point then…do you swallow?
Girl: Well, again sometimes. But I don’t really like the taste of it…so honestly, I don't even want it in my mouth.
Guy: Oh, great. Well let’s just skip b**w j**s all together then. I’ll just do you.
Girl: Wonderful!

Yeah right…like that would happen. That last part was what I imagine most girls would hope for, but I don’t know any guy who would turn down a bj. And I have a feeling that conversation might be just a tad awkward. Don’t you? So guys, just let it happen organically...and go from there. Give a heads up and don’t go in her mouth or in her hair.