Hold Out Till Older?

I just got an email asking if I think it’s best to wait to lose your virginity till you’re older…as in early to mid-twenties older.

Hhhhhmmm. That’s a really tough question. If you asked me that when I was 18, I would have said waiting that long is ridiculous because you learn so much about yourself and your relationships when you’re intimate.

BUT…looking back and after hearing so many stories about love, relationships, and sex from friends and random people who email me, I have to say I think it is best to wait till you’re a little older. So I guess this message is for teenagers who have the option to hold out still…

Sex complicates your life and your relationships. Many times people ask me for advice because they aren’t sure if a guy really likes them, if their partnering is cheating, because their sex life has lost its luster, and so on. At the root of all of their problems is usually sex.

And here’s something that they don’t talk about in sex education at school—while they’re showing you pictures of Herpes and symptoms of Gonorrhea, no one is telling you about the emotional drama that you experience when you have sex with someone.

Guys have to go through the embarrassment of what is guaranteed to be a weak performance and the uncontrollable desire to only want to have sex at every minute after that (oh, wait, you guys go through that no matter what at 16, huh? Haha. Poor bastards).

But girls, you’re at an even worse disadvantage when you have sex with a guy because your emotions overwhelm you so much that it’s hard to understand how you feel about a person. He might be the worst guy in the world, but you won’t see that because your emotions make you believe that you actually love him, when chances are you’re just feeling vulnerable because you gave a piece of yourself that’s supposed to be special. 

There’s a whole mix of issues that come with having sex too early in life—jealousy from knowing that your partner has been with others, the intimacy might not be as special when you finally meet “the one”, it’s hard to imagine yourself with only one person after having been with several other people, you make decisions that aren’t always smart because of sex…I mean, I can keep going.

So in an effort to not make this a long, drawn out blog post…I end with this:
Who knows when it’s the right time to lose your virginity and start having sex, but I do recommend that you take it very seriously. You only get to lose your virginity once in your life so why not make it count?

And one more thing for the ladies—high school boys aren’t half as cool once you get to college. I’m just sayin…is it really worth giving it up to them?