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Do Married People Stick Together?POSTED July, 01 2009  My friend John is having a hard time. He’s a single guy (and it doesn’t look like he’s getting married any time soon. No girlfriend either) and all of his friends are starting to marry off. This didn’t seem to bother him much until he started noticing that he wasn’t being included in the group anymore. Well, not as much. It started with a dinner that 3 of his buddies (and their wives/girlfriends) planned. Apparently they had been emailing about it and “forgot” to include John in the conversations. So when the night arrived, John asked one of the guys to grab a happy hour drink with him. His response, “Oh, I have a dinner to get to at 8pm.” As John started going down the line, he realized all 3 of his buddies had to be at a dinner at 8pm…which seemed a little odd. Then he put it together—they were going to dinner at the same place and without him. But, he brushed it off. He wouldn’t want to be the random single guy at a dinner with 3 couples anyway. Every once in a while he could let them have their “couples nights” and let them talk about stuff he has no interest in—picking out towels for the bathroom, starting a family, buying a house with a nursery, etc. It wasn’t until this became a trend that he actually got annoyed. Soon the guys had stories of their dinner conversations, weekend trips they took, even nights out that they “forgot” to invite John to. He couldn’t figure out why the guys were starting to back away from the friendship so much. I mean, yeah, he’s the only single guy, but why would that change the friendships? John got his answer the night his buddy Steve asked him to come over to watch the game because his wife Maria was out of town. It wasn’t his actual buddies who didn’t want to hang anymore, it was the influence of the wives that was starting to get in the way. So John decided to be upfront with Steve and asked him why they weren’t hanging anymore. Turns outMaria was worried that John would be a bad influence. Not directly, but because he’s single, she didn’t want Steve hanging out in bars where single ladies hunt for men or to hear John talk about his latest romp with the hot chick he met last week. These were all issues that could potentially hurt their marriage. Maria doesn’t want Steve to have buyer’s remorse. So there you have it. Married people, or at least insecure ones, don’t want their partners hanging with the singles crowd. Is this true?
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Comments
I think its more to do with "theme". I have "married dates" to hang out and talk about kids and stuff. I am also allowed to hang out with my single friend (s) occasionally but I don't remember ever mixing the two.
I remember a recent night out where the doubled with a friend I hadn't seen in a while, he brought some girl he met online (normal for him). We decided to call our long lost buddy who became the 5th wheel. I think it was just awkward for all of us, because his stories were just inappropriate and got me interrogated on the way home.
By Anonymous
Yeah, I agree. I think the wives just don't want the guys hanging with him in general though...they think he'll indirectly influence them or tempt them because he wants to be in situations like going to bars, etc.
I think the ladies sound really insecure.
By Susan_Y
I don't understand why they can't invite your buddy John out and he just brings a date? Of course it would be silly for him to sit at a table by himself amongst 3 other couples but if he had a date whats so weird about that.
I'm not suggesting he takes a random girl to something like this. This is no place for a first date. But if he is talking or seeing someone then why not bring them along.
I also think his friends need to grow some "you-know-whats" and explain to their wives how they want to include their buddy in some of their events.
By Anonymous
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