Penelope lay herself on the couch for Britain's Psychologies magazine (um, why?) and talked about a long-standing insecurity (file this under the Celebrities, They're Just Like Us, Duh! file): "Every time I make a film, I feel like it's my first time… I always think they could fire me. I've ruined my own happiness and created problems with my friends because of this tendency. It takes discipline for me to stop worrying."

That's coming from an Oscar winner. Imagine what I'm feeling sitting her filing this post at 4:37AM.

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Maiara Walsh, who made a hell of an entrance (and a hell of a jump from Disney tween show Cory in the House) on Desperate Housewives' season finale, will be back as a regular on the ABC show in the fall. The half-Brazilian actress just inked the deal to return full-time as Carlos' slutty, manipulative niece, Ana. Even in the few scenes, the character proved to be a great foil for Gaby (Eva Longoria). It was about time Gaby met her match--who, as she gloats, is younger and prettier and can still get boys to do what she wants (including her chores). Read More

When you watch the Michael Jackson Memorial Service today on television or online (most networks will air it live starting at 9AM PT and noon ET, but some will start coverage in the morning), take a minute to feel a little Latino pride. The service, which will be watched by millions if not billions around the world and may become the most watched television event ever, will be directed by a Latino, Kenny Ortega.

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Well, we knew she was a hardass, but....well, it's not as bad as it sounds. It turns out that you can use bamboo fibers to make fabric to make sheets and that's what Jess does the nasty and naps on.  Watch Jess rave about other things she does to live green (she talks about a rubber lawn she never has to water and how she uses vinegar and water to clean around the house, as if) in this Vogue.com video, taken at the actress' photo shoot for Vogue's July issue and just posted. 

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If you only read the papers and watched CNN, you'd think Mexico was a border-to-border hellhole full of swine flu-infested people and flying bullets from drug wars. We know better, and so do Latin celebs, who are starting to wear these adorable t-shirts that read "Muñecas Como Estas Vacacionan en Mexico."

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It's not a word that I use often: smarmy. It takes a special kind of person to bring it out. But if anyone deserves it, it is surely this separated-at-birth dimpled duo: from-the-womb p-hound Mario Lopez and Hollywood's latest dirty boy Eddie Cibrian, subject of a feature in the latest issue of In Touch, which talks about an alleged affair he had with a model/bartender named Scheana (pictures included!)—while he was having a tryst with country singer LeAnn Rimes.

But who is the smarmier of the two? Let's look at the startling yet conclusive evidence:

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Watching a Tommy-gun carrying Johnny Depp strut stylishly into a marble-lined bank as bank robber John Dillinger in the beautifully shot, occasionally exhilarating Public Enemies, you feel a little envious. For Depression-era Americans, Dillinger was the folk hero who made rich banks cough up the dough and made spectacular getaways. Who do we, living through the worst economic downturn since then, get for a celeb outlaw? Bernie Madoff.

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